Why do I feel so sad every single time you start doing this and remind me of the past..every single time is like another knife stab into my heart..seriously..

..he was your first mistake. Then next you have Eugene and msging dear and everything ..after all this you told me , you only have time with mummy and work..but now you told me you are pretty close to kelvin and it's private matter..

Doing all this and make me feel nothing ? 

And said I changed you? 

I know you have truly love me, and I have truly love you.

Stop making me feeling so sad with all this guys that you keep having one after another.

Actually today I didn't even go out, i was worried abt you working till so late , so I tell u Tt I pass by Tpy so I can buy lame snack for u.. Today I realize how much you love Tt person in the past.. 

sorry

I am a failure in everything..

Can you don't go Thailand? Cannot lah,tickets already bought..

Why took so long to pick the the phone ? 

You are so smelly..

Today I'm tired ,I'm going home after this..

You take bus, I take train ..

While we are talking you looking at Facebook..

Now I off my phone alewady you don't want to talk,, CCb you trying to make me angry after my long day at work .. You start throwing vulgarity at me ..what you want to talk abt say now lah..

Before meeting you, ( smelly, next time don't hide your feeling anymore okay? If you got things want to say but don't know how to say just write your feeling in a letter and tell me okay? ) today, nah smell give u flower makes u happy!! 

Last time I felt this way, I complaint.. I felt the you is better now because you never go drink always and good girl, I like, but you become short temper need to strike balance between work and life.. 

I send you home okay? It's still early can take bus home.. (Up to you)..

I want to be alone today..

Smelly where are you, go take bus home now..

Okay okay.. :( i go cross the road .. (I miss you)

Slowly walking ( ah the key )

I'm walking back 2 bus stop ... 

I want to pass you office key..

Why you always never listen to me! Why Everytime you wan to make me fucking angry .. When I tot we can be Tgt then you do all this kind of thing.. 

I can't pass myself in this trap... Maybe it's the attention and love i seek, Why am i becoming a burden or stress... i dont know how to bring happiness to others and understand others anymore because i cant even bring myself to happiness and understand myself.. i felt so lonely... really.. is it best to keep everything within myself ? i complain abt the past and bring up the past.. i wanted spend my time with people.. i got angry on the inside sometimes.. but after awhile.. it grew into negative thinking.. i hate myself sometimes.. but i wanted to love myself , i wanted to be happy for most of the time.. but i felt so sad on the inside.. i felt so sad.. i am really happy and contented i wanted to do so much things and try everything i could during that time... tt was the time it erase of those those past.. i so much wanted to do everything right .. but i failed everytime i tried.. the more i pick up myself the more failure i got.. i so much need support ... i tried to do things right everytime.. but deep down inside of me... im beginning to lose myself.. i want those hope to come true... but its just within me... i felt really so bad... i wanted to spend time we miss out.. but my thoughts... i dont know how .. im just so sorry im struggling so hard inside myself inside of me... im struggling so hard... but my words.. keep hurting you.. my thoughts keep giving you so much stress and unhappiness.. i really dont want you to bring your work unhappiness into me... this way i cant manage myself on the inside.. i will make you feel angry too.. but i dont want all this to happen... i just want us to be like the past where we can talk more with you less stressful and when you will say sorry when you get angry.. i love the way you are in the past because tt time i felt so loved and got all the care you got... i felt really really happy i can even smile myself to bed.

Just a thought

I don't know if you know, ever since you got this job , sometimes or a few nights I was waiting for you to have dinner Tgt, but end up I go to bed empty stomach.. I know it's a long day for you at work ..sometimes I tried to help you at work, because you told me even zen can accompany jas for outlet..I tried so hard you didn't understand..I just got into a new working environment and I gotta work 11hrs a day..and I really wanted to spend time with you..I wanted to earn more money for us..as time pass.. I'm slowly giving up..I see our future with family with kids and everything..but we , our romantic time spend Tgt did not last..sometimes I just want you to put me as piority ..I wanted to do so much..I wanted you to give

Me motivation and goals for our future..then slowly I began to give up and slowly I give up on my job and everything..I have no more motivation in life..i put you first before everything else..but you never tried to understands and talk to me...everyday you would tell me abt your promoter..I even tried to know some of them and told them I'm your boyfriend and helping you..do you know how much I was hurt inside..sometimes I wanted to get a little more care and concern from you..slowly I find my cousin they all..Everytime when I'm drink it's because I'm so sad abt our relationship..I wanted to work everything out..I'm so tired at work ..I wanted to help you sometimes..but Everytime you you got so much into your phone when being with me , I got so much upset..I didn't want to find anyone to talk to..I tried to play games and try to get myself distracts from..I wanted you to change job it's because I want you to be less stressful and happier..you are always angry at things ..do you remember when you work at oe how happy you were? And Everytime you would make time for us..I wanted you to study well and get a job tt isn't so stressful for you..I didn't want to see you going to the doctor so often.. Sometimes it makes me so sad to see everything becoming like this ..I really tried my best for everything I can give you.. You are someone I can spend a lifetime with really..we can talk so much things and disturb each other so much..we are like husband and wife, best comedy buddy , and cute couple.. This is what makes is Tgt.. :( I'm getting drunk and said so many nasty things because I'm so sad inside..i failed to make this relationship work..not only I'm sad abt this..I'm also disappointed in myself..I wanted to get drunk and forget everything..and in the day I wanted to try my best for everything ..it's a struggle in me..my career has been a failure, my financial has been a failure, even my love life is an failure..I so much wanted everything to work out.. :( even my own family is quite a failure to me..I don't feel love from my dad, because he is always not around we felt like stranger, my career isn't working out well, my love

Life tt I always yearn for isn't working out..sometimes I didn't tell you my problem because I don't want you to be stress over my life.. I really tried so hard inside and outside :( smell I'm sorry ..but I still loves you.. I'm just a failure.. I'm really sorry..i just wanted a perfect family..