Who is the person you want to spend for the rest of your life? 

Is there someone that you always wanted to share your joy and sadness with? 

Is there someone out there who has a simple and kind heart? 

Sometimes when we get so close to each other, even a little things will make us flare up, we sometimes take each other for granted..there's always too many ppl around we don't know who will really be there for us when we really need them.. When oneday you found someone, that you are constantly angry at, yet still care for each other ..I can say that's yours to keep, your soulmate.

In a lifetime , how much chances do we get to know the right person? So we can start doing the right thing ? I remember there's someone once told me, we can see ourself only others do.. 

On his deathbed, he said " My only regrets, is having not spend enough time with her and not giving her all the love and care he got when he still got the breath and energy to do it."

If you have already decide that I'm not important to you, just let me know because sometimes your care let me feel everything abt you and us being together..

Smile

Yesterday, while i was on the street crossing the traffic, this lady was looking at her phone with such lovely smile, then i realize i saw those smile before, when i am with you, but you are looking at your phone with his messages... I can only look at you and smile...

To you..

I wanted to forgive what u had said to me.. It is better for me to leave .. Sometimes I hate myself for being weak.. I can't bring myself to scold you during tt period when u cheated on me.. But in the future I hope you don't do this to other guy again, because this hurts the most.

If you really care...

If you had really cared, the key is with you that night when i waited for you. If you had really cared, you won't hurt me that morning. If you had really cared, you won't be drinking with your friend so much that you can forget me. If you had really cared, you will always find a way. If you had really cared, you won't let me worry about you every night. If you had really cared, you will always come back. If you had really cared, you won't leave me hanging. If you had really cared, you will never have so many new guys. You can never understand how much you hurt me..

Smelly

Thanks for caring for me.

Did u cheat on me again? 

Don't break my heart this time.

Actually I began to feel happier for you, :) i hope he is a good guy for you.. Seeing your movie tickets with him and all.. One day I hope when u are together already so let me know, don't hide from me in the darkness like how you and Dom. I will really wish you happiness de.. Right now in front of your mum I can be your temporary boyfriend..but when it's time for me to go, let me know smell ..I won't be crying..

蕭敬騰 如果沒有你 原唱 莫文蔚

Impact..

How am I going to do..

Why always look at my flaws and condemn me with everything I'm bad with.. I'm not perfect in everything, even though..I'm also human.. Then everyone have to give up on me? Because I have my flaws.. Remind me about my flaws , please don't hurt me with my flaws..

My good friend.

Everyday I wish that I can die, I don't want to have such thing happening to me , is it karma ? Or is it what have I done to let all this happening to me.. Sometimes it is so hard to live on.. If I can die to exchange for happiness , i wish that happen to me now.. Tears drop because I have waited for nothing .. Each and every time when I have so much trust and hope.. I have died everyday waiting for you.. Let me died peacefully.. Dear god.. 

Get well soon

I pray to god that you get well soon , I hope you recover soon and have healthy life soon ! I wish that you can jump and run around soon ! :))

I had a weird dream, I'm in a cloud looking down at the trip at batam seeing you another person .. My tears just drop like the rain tt was falling this morning.. There's a cat that has no fur keep looking at me.. Why do my tears drop when I'm sleeping.. Am I leaving this place soon? 

:)

I don't know why my heart feel so ache when I'm saying this to you.. :( having the urge to cry out somewhere..

I remembering you said things about Edmund , like how he go drink everyday with different girls. Now I began to see you walking his steps.. If I'm not worth for everything , then I will stop because what I do you will never see how I wanted to help you out from drinking, gradually this will affect your future..

I don't mind being someone you don't like , but I tried being a bad person for telling you everyday not to drink and go home early.. If this is the life that you want now, i will take my leave for this is what you want.. Seeing you getting injured while drinking broke my heart, seeing you drinking with so many guys broke my heart, seeing you care for others more rather than me broke my heart, seeing you getting sick from drinking and this kind of lifestyle broke my heart so much, your brother Sean, your ai ai , didn't want to see you go boat quay so often either. 

You got yourself good companion at boat quay , they are good people I believe . But how long to you intend to keep this going? 1 years 3 years or 10 years ? You have been through this before and we do..everyday going to boat quay for so long me and my cousins and all decide to stop because we know there's always all kind of people there and it's really wasting money and time over there.. spending so many night for years over there, what so we gain ? Same old drinking kakis and friend but how about the one we really care? What starts there will eventually ends there..

:(

I think I'm really so bad.. I tried to be good sometimes.. When will you stop BQ.. killing me inside out .. Sigh.. the moment you start going there, you bring us down, the moment you bring jas there, you bring her down, you and Nicole there , bring down friendship .. Without going there, everything will be plain and simple.. Future Is clearer.. You still don't understand.. Or maybe I don't, if you can oneday think back, before you start going there and start doing everything right and give some people your time. Everything in life won't be in a mess, your studies, your love life, your friendship, your future. 

:<

!!!! Every time got reason to go boat quay!!! 

Hmmm

It's feels like such a long time since I have a sleep through out the night.. but still can't help thinking..

Everything is different since the day you began to left me, you have changed completely, it's not that I don't know you well enough, you have so many new guys friends and new people in your life now.. This makes me jealous , but I still like the simple you last time..

To me our relationship together is so special in a way I can never forget.. Maybe to you is just another same old thing that just pass, I know how to be content with what I got.

It's impossible to find your love back to me anymore from now because it's far too long and too much people revolving in your life right now.. I always try everyway to guide you back, to a place where you belong.

Amour vincit omnia.. I still believe , even how sad, how much hurt I got, or even lied to about everything.. I had never mind being a fool, or being someone's spare, because I was never in the first, within your heart. That's what really killing me..

Everyone wants a place in their special someone's heart..that's human I guess..even if we never wanted , seeing the one we care and love ones change into something they couldn't even fathom.

I don't know what is the meaning of you said is trying, maybe you tried in your own way I can't understand. But giving up on us is also giving up part of yourself.  Don't lose yourself to guys you didn't even want to live old with ..

I don't know why am I still doing this, my mind was telling me not to, and my heart is doing it. One day if I was to leave , there will be no turning back. Because there's always chances to be given , I have no regrets to what I have done, only what I have not done .

In my life there's still one person, I regret having loved with, she's the one that makes me believe everything we can have together, in the end how she cheat on me or given up this for another guy which didn't last long. I never hate this woman anymore because It doesn't matter anymore.

I made promise to myself, I will not involve in drama anymore . This will only bring hurt to everyone, because there is no real happiness. 

Smell , I care and love is still like always, maybe you don't know how to feel for me anymore, but if we continue to stay this way .. There will be no good ending , this time for either you or me . Waiting for you is no longer possible , because you showed only the new places and man that you met.

I hate to have all this feeling everyday .. I don't exist in your heart.. 

Sept 9th

Love of my life

I still care, i still love in the end..stupid me..or is this why they said love has patience, love is kind that's why love is blind.. 

Dreams again

Why do I keep having this dreams.. :'(

Someone that you are with that time and all the things you said to me that morning..things you have done to me..

Hmmm

So I drop 3kg of weight in 1month..

Glad

Glad that you got it :) 

As long as you are really happy.

I just want you to be better

Just let go of those places and new people, knowing them and drinking everyday there will only complicate your life more. I can't stop you anymore .. Small circle of friends that will always come to you will keep your life simple and happier in a way you never thought it will .. 

I can feel inside you are empty with laughter on the outside .

Why do I have to go through this alone again...for so many night.. :( I just can't take if.. I hope to sleep and never wake up again....

Why do I still hope u will catch my fall till now :(

:(

Seeing your favourite mug makes me think of my oscar and your cookie mug. I broke my mug and u said we can always go back USS to buy a new one. But most of the time , you doesn't want to spend time with me. Even the beer buffet one space is for you, even today you are invited ..but where were you :( 

I can still remember how I waited for u everynight downstairs your house..but u never came back tt night..how you scolded me in the morning..I beg u and all.. You have change so much and not the person I used to know anymore.. This time I felt it in my heart so deep..that you are not trying anymore.. If you really have the heart for me, that night you wouldn't have forget about coming back home to our house..I've waited for you but to only receive a call from you telling me , that you forgot to come back ..all this really sadden and broke me down so much..will you mend all this back ? :(

Am I doing everything wrong :(

loving you always

Smelly can you stop going to drink so much already mah? Do you know ever since you start going boat quay so frequently ,things is getting from bad to worst? Your bill , your work , our relationship , friendship all and all .. You said they are good people , yes I can agree with you but how about the time you spend? Most of the time was with them almost everynight.. You said give u sometime, I waited almost everynight for you , knowing you are out there with your friends..everyday using your favorite purple cup and all the clothes in the wardrobe waiting for you to come back..you said I'm forcing you , but if you really want us to be better than before time spend more together is Us together hanging out alone or with others..I try so hard to get your attention away from your friends and drinking habit again. You told me once about hating the lifestyle of drinking till morning again, and don't wanna have nightlife anymore in the future..for better future. But do u see what has happen now? I guess I have become the person that became the most you don't want to see the most and not love anymore.. There's so much struggle between us, I try to mend everything back to pieces alone..I'm fighting and struggling so hard inside of me all this is for us and things you told me.. Now that you have new friends and new affection for them.. How about those you cherish? Even if there is new guy out there is it worth it for all that you have work through? Inside of you, you said everything is dying..it's all in your mind. Nothing is dying and nothing changes except you.. You can come back and do everything you want and all together again.. Drinking with friends everynight will only give u short term of happiness and also drag those bad memories into your life .. Who you wanna give all yours is in you.

I have been thinking through all this and everything, even if I try it will be meaningless , it's has to be you that try to. I said so many things to you then and now, all this is trying to help us, or maybe I fail to..or I don't have the ability anymore..but remember one thing okay smelly? I'm still waiting for you and if you decided to leave , that will be for good because things will not be the same . I still have high hope for us and everything about you. I'll be waiting for you, don't break my heart anymore . I love you .