chan

I had this weird feeling for you.

ZMH

I wonder what she did to you.. Or should I ask what kind of person are you in the past .. I really wonder sometimes..or I should say most of the time ..

If all and all you doesn't think of her how would the future be like? 

Feeling sick

 

Seems like actually I feel it's feeling from bad to worst..

Having those thoughts, about you..

TSH test, spirometry test, psychiatric test..

 

Wish you didn't leave..

Post...

Walked pass there day 2.. 

It seems like taking lots of courage to just walk pass there to see you..

Take care don't get drunk.. Don't get so emo like always.. Don't always think so much .. Take a step at a time .. Don't always get so busy .. MH

I guess it's the same

Sometimes I really have to wonder why.. The ending it's always somewhat the same..the hope and everything else, the last time u said to me, you would wear this dress for me..to a wedding dinner but it never happen..because you didn't turn up and we broke up.. In the past I bought this long dress for her , but I didn't get a chance to see her wear..

Most of the time it's after army, and you are gone.. after all I still have 5 more years to go.. 

I'm really tired..I'm afraid it's gonna be a long break for me soon .. Because.. Somehow.. I'm also afraid I won't be here for long.. Tomorrow is my next medical appointment. I don't 

 knowif I should tell doctor about more..

Back off eventually in order to decide what's best for me..is this all for me ? 

Wish u were here..

:(

I still feel sad about it... 

What's more can I tell you? 

There's nothing I can give..that you want..

낙타(camel)

I'm really happy to see you today, it's been sometimes since we can talk like this.. I hope we can have more time and chance to see each other again..

If you still have feelings , I hope u can let me know in some ways.. Because I'm waiting for u..

Never good enough to be tgt..

Lost.

I don't know what's happening, Tt day I lost my ability to write, my hand can't stop trembling. 

Following day, it seems like my sense of taste began to lost as well.. 

Today I almost forgot what day is today? I have to check my calendar and ask my friend.

I need to stop, drinking everyday.

^_^

I don't know how it happen, but somehow you made my day abit happier.. :) thank you.

And when .

I just have to be happy, infront of everyone and you .. Maybe that's not enough , actually those thing it really matter to me so much.. I can almost can't take it .. It hurts..

I feel like the worst now..I'm sorry that I can't gave you everything .. When u said that sometimes u don't even know if I love you .. That's something that is me that wanted to tell you , most of the time I have to find out from friends about you..

I'm sorry, for everything.. 

Because

Because you are happy so , I will be.. 

Because those memories will always be something worth remembering for..

Because I will forget about the bad thing..

Because I said I can..

Because it's you..

Heartstring

Why does my heart still ache even now..

Why did you still wanted to flow down my cheeks..

But I know..

May be I am just not enough..

 

MH

Take good care of yourself in KL .. Come back soon clear your thoughts and struggle will stop. Good things will always comes to you cause this is what I pray for. 

By the pool

So I sat by the pool In the morning, slowly packing up my stuff and leave quietly as my heart and mind having the thought of you beside me.

The night when everyone asked me your whereabout, as all I could say is that I lose you to her.. Those heart felt , and you don't know what I think about each day.

I tried and tried , but you know saying goodbye is the hardest . All I have to do is smile, all in front .. A part of me will always be with you.

What have I done

Wake up with tears in my eyes, although listening to my buddy story last night was saddening.. But somehow i felt better maybe because I was not alone..

Later tonight there will be an empty seat beside me, an empty hope that I could see you in that dress..

Smile for today it's my cousin's big day.. 

Asth please don't come when I sleep for I have run out of vento. I won't be able to take it this time.

I remember saying that being together is you are happy, I won't blame you nor anyone. I know that maybe you are happier this way. May be my dream shattered , for my love is gone. 

Cry a river

Same thing always happen to me, may be this is my karma. Sometimes, how long will I have to go through all this, how long will I love you..

Just how long more do have I to see you from afar.. Places where I wanted to go the most at that time..a very nice place wishing that you were the one.Symmetry.

Walking down to the place when u told your father that night. Sitting alone here at the river once more.. 

Let the river cry my heart, let the night be peaceful at heart for you. I hope u struggle no more, now that we are friends.. 

Sorry that I love you..

Something breaks so hard..the pain is unbearable..

Me

Yesterday I tried to pick up pieces by pieces, I pick up phone calls write down notes. I wanted to plan for and meet more people.

Hanging my shirt and pants outside to stand by for few interviews prepare for today. Stand by my resume and research on the company.

At night, I was feeling so .. 

I felt depressed, I felt I could do nothing, I wake up early in the morning but I couldn't do more. Looking at those company that missed call me. My tears drop.

I wish that time is over for me soon. How long more do I have to endure. I feel like time is moving so slowly. I felt it is too depressing to stay at home.

Why

Why I don't have the mood to do anything now? All I just do is sleep for so many days..without talking to anyone..

My

IzZit maybe the past break up was all the same??

I remember the first u said, usually I will always bring you out to drink and anywhere..tts why now u know how to drink, of coz there were up and down in this relationship, I remember how we shouted at each other behind the ntuc at tampines..we were young at the time, anywhere will be fun ..the underwater world..but when I go enlisted to the army..you left..tts the saddest day of my life..booking out to see you and his photo..Tt day I wish you happiness..it took years for me to forget all this..7 years later we are still friend..it's kinda of wired for you to say sorry to me abt the past..

Later in years, I met this woman..I tot she was a kind person ..although she was sometimes..how I met this woman? We meet up in a group of game for gathering ..we called each other more often then oneday she ask if we could be together, I tot we could give it a try..but until later she reveal to me that she's still married..and a young mother..it was kind of hard to accept of coz I have to ask her then why she still wan all this ? We still go on dating for few months until I realize it was really a sin ..a very bad sin for me to be with a married person..and I found out that she has met another new person other then me..of coz I feel sad and kinda cheated I learnt my lesson..I hate this person for a very long time..in the end I decide that I have no longer have feeling for this person I don't even hate her, but instead I feel that I'm in wrong..I should not go with that..I hope god will one day forgive me..

Then when this girl came in into my life, she was a part time server at the time..we work in the same place for almost a year but I didn't really talk to her as much until one day, I borrowed a lighter from her and I took it home as usual..she msg me in the Facebook and there we started to talk..she show concern about me..I guess I'm actually quite weak in the body..I was having a Fever when I'm at work..as days pass we got together..there's many places we went to..but in the end, she asked for a break due to many reason..I'm so sad I broke down in tears Tt day, as day passes I realize that actually she is seeing someone else..my friend showed me their photo and day taken..during Tt period I was really heartbroken ..but she came back to me after that..I tot we could be together again..in the end..a new guy show up and I didn't know that they were tgt again ..I felt that so much I was being hidden from..time to time..nothing much was being made known to me..

Now that I'm with this special girl, even before we were together, I tot I could always do something for her or maybe I felt in love with her..but I didn't really see it, she was funny and she speaks straight from her head , she doesn't lie..well tts what I like about her..as time pass I guess we can really get along well, but there's something about her is that she likes girl..i tot we could just let things go naturally..most of the time she would talk about her past and I really like to listen and know more about her..but Tt day we were both drunk and things maybe got kinda bad..she was really angry with me and didn't talk to me for one whole week..everyday I would think what have I done but I guess maybe it's abit of mutual at first ? But I'm still really sad, I travel to places where we have been to recall the past , Tt week I miss you so much and I'm really lost..i spend most of my days walking, to pub alone , to bugis, to steamboat, to the first place where we met..and Tt day u finally talk to me. I'm so glad that day , because we have cleared things up abit, and also u gave me this chance..

Now that we have problem like this, during this cool off period I guess I will only love you more..I see that changes need to be made if we are to be together..first it's me..maybe sometimes I need to give u some space, a space where u can do your personal things , a space that u can think for yourself, a space when u can catch up with your friends and family. 

But there's something , you need to tell me if there's a problem between us, u need to let me know right? Most of the time you have been hiding your inner most feeling about me..I can feel it, u only tell me the good words or try to use good words to translate, if there's a day that come u hope u will tell your partner all your problems or somehow share your stress together..this is why we are together...smile and be happy . Baby I'm sorry for making you sad all this time..

My book out day with you :)

All this while I've been really stress about so much things , I just want to be with you so that I will be more comfortable.. I know I should give u some space, I hope during this period u can think through too and also be happier..

If I'm the one that makes you or our relationship so stressful for you.. I'm sorry. 

Today is the first lesson of your basic two, I tot you could share with me how's your day .. 

This past few days my asthma attack keep coming..i wish you were by my side right now ..

Happy one month bii bii

I never thought my girlfriend would be so sweet..happy one month my sweetest kitty girlfriend , 

Bii

Today I wake up with a worst feeling :( 

Having a hangover and asthma attack in the morning.. When I saw your msg it actually makes me feel sad on the inside..baby I'm sorry...I hope u don't say this kind of things again because for I know that we can always work things out together and I don't care about bad things ppl say about me or us.. I love you 

💔

Sometimes I wish..

The worst feelings is someone u like, hates you...

Sigh

Today I said something I shouldn't say to her, I felt so sad when all she think that I was that kind of person. She didn't know that I have already fall for her. That night I can vividly remember u mentioning my ex..I did not think of her.. I took a de route to work today, thinking if I could get you something..

Aunty keep complaining to me about so many things..I will rectify all this problems at work , we have one more new guys today, I have to train him and guide everyone during service. Today I have to do food ordering for next Monday and I don't even know what's happening at work yesterday. Today, I'm leading one part time , one new cook , one new assistant manager attach to kitchen , and one new junior sous chef, I wish I can solve so many problems. 

I wish u can understand me..

I wish you can talk to me..

There's nothing much I can do..

For this past few days I wanted to look for you, I knew u went to wild oat, so I walk near there hoping if I can see you..but I keep thinking that u wouldn't want to see me, so I stayed around there for awhile. I know u are working the next day, I went to town alone wanted to look for you, but I was discourage..my brother told me he don't know if you wanted to see me..I went to the bar alone..I wanted to be alone..my good friend Cecil and her friend mayi came down to look for me..we had some drinks..end of the day I felt so miserable and drunk..

I really don't know what to do..

There's so much and so many things happening I wanted to solve and help so many people..but I just can't help myself..

Mh ..

I'm in a mess..

How can I ever do things right ..

My ......

I felt saddest when my brother don't understand me and the one I love leaves me..if I can just leave This world ...in sorry MH..

Why this happen..

Camel :(

I really feel so bad..

I hurt the one I like..

Left side full right side blank

I'll try my best . 

Irata course

I don't know

But somehow I know..erm...what if ? Omg ..I think ...

:)

:(

Remember ...

Remember the last word u said to me when we were sitting down and talk. The last meal I cook for you that night. 

I don't remember when was the last time I truly felt happy at all.. 

Yesterday's

Sometimes

Struggling between so many things..

My heart breaks a little when I hear your names.. Even until now..

:)

I was right about December , you will be happier..

Enjoy your holiday and take good care! 

Why do you have to show it all at once..

When this time I know u had someone already, I should apps u lesser ..because oneday if I have a gf I wouldn't want her to contact a lot of guys :)