😣

I need to control my emotion!!!

This year is really a bad year for me,

Having relationship problem , family problem , work problem , financial problem , health problem , army ippt fail.. 

Patience is the key...I need to get this right..I need to express my clear motive..

I guess I'm getting some words at work..

Oct 7th I need to go to the hospital . It's again money . Before 24th nov I gotta clear my ippt , if not RT for 12days.

Now my dearest smelly hates talking to me. Oct 27th our anniversary! 48 days away, I haven save up enough for her yet. This month 3 colleague birthday I did not celebrate with all of them . But contribute present.. 

Last year my insurance was delayed till this year and I payed a hefty 1.9k.

I hope smelly can get a good get away trip to batam. A seaview resort , a romantic honeymoon for the first time .. 

Now we are drifted apart..

I'll try to work more days now so that we can have enough to spend. 

But there's only one me, I still want to spend time with you! 

I need to think think think...when there's a will , there's a way.

I love you because I said I would.

I don't want to live a regretful life in the future.

I will always give u what I have , 

Maybe I'll try to resolve all this problem day by day. 

I hope u come back to me soon..

I miss your hug, your kiss , your laughter and everything abt you! 

I wish you can stop drinking with your friends already :(

I remember having this heartbroken feeling so strong few years back when Cecilia broke up with me. 

Now this feeling haunt me again, I can physically felt my heart aching .. Inside of my head runs all the picture , tears rolling down my cheek , with all the sad song playing.. I stop myself from drinking this time, because I know if I start doing this again when I feel sad.. I know I will never do what's right..it's really really hard to bring myself up again...

I wished you'll be here when I cried.

I was yearning for your warm embrace..

I knew you were out there somewhere ..

it's stressful for you, I'll be more supportive for you. somehow you are my only love.

Maybe you understand me more than I do.

There's so many unresolved issue between us, there bound to a time when we both can really work out together .

But somehow we sail through all this and now it's a mess that I made..

If u ever fall In love with someone again ,

I will feel even more heartbroken, but if being with me now isn't happy or going anywhere.. I would still hold onto you and try everything for you smelly .

Good Night smelly, I hope you went back home from drinking session already .

I love you always, my dearest Anvil.

P!nk - Just Give Me A Reason ft. Nate Ruess

Falling :'(

I also don't know why I become like this..maybe I just want your attention.

Bad things keep pouring into my mind..

:'(

I tried to watch this movie letters to Juliet , but I tear even more.. Picture of us keep running in my mind..the guy that doesn't have time for his girl all the time, all that is abt work he is on,..I'm afraid that we can't be together in the future..

In the end you told me, I can never understand your work. 

Can you try to understand me abit? How I feel all this time? I miss you so much! But your phone never leave your hand for an hour..even while having dinner Tgt . :(

Aren't we suppose to spend every precious time Tgt ? :'(

I'm really sorry that I could no longer understand why is this happening.

I'm sorry it is my fault that I get angry at you.

I'm sorry that I'm breaking down.. 

I'm sorry that I'm always making you having a bad day now..

Now that I'm like this, it's hard for me to bring out the happiness that u always wanted. 

Maybe I might even be happy for you that your stress that I bring to you is over.

It break my heart to see myself become like this . :'(

I just wanna wait to have dinner with you

My first proper meal for 3 days..I wanna send letter..

We went out for a date.. I really don't know what this is anymore..I did not spend time Tgt..this is not what we are suppose to be..I love who you are..

:'(

Attention, affection, love and commitment. :'(

:'( this is the first time I felt so heartbroken while smiling to my colleague.. 

I miss the day when both of us can really spend time together...

I hope u can take time to do all your stuff ..and we can go back like how we use to laugh and be so sweet ..

Now maybe we can only miss those sweet memories ..

:'( when lily still teach me how to make a proposal and thought of how I can make things happen .. :'( a few days apart and now this is ..

All the heartache feels the same..in the heart..