😣

I need to control my emotion!!!

This year is really a bad year for me,

Having relationship problem , family problem , work problem , financial problem , health problem , army ippt fail.. 

Patience is the key...I need to get this right..I need to express my clear motive..

I guess I'm getting some words at work..

Oct 7th I need to go to the hospital . It's again money . Before 24th nov I gotta clear my ippt , if not RT for 12days.

Now my dearest smelly hates talking to me. Oct 27th our anniversary! 48 days away, I haven save up enough for her yet. This month 3 colleague birthday I did not celebrate with all of them . But contribute present.. 

Last year my insurance was delayed till this year and I payed a hefty 1.9k.

I hope smelly can get a good get away trip to batam. A seaview resort , a romantic honeymoon for the first time .. 

Now we are drifted apart..

I'll try to work more days now so that we can have enough to spend. 

But there's only one me, I still want to spend time with you! 

I need to think think think...when there's a will , there's a way.

I love you because I said I would.

I don't want to live a regretful life in the future.

I will always give u what I have , 

Maybe I'll try to resolve all this problem day by day. 

I hope u come back to me soon..

I miss your hug, your kiss , your laughter and everything abt you! 

I wish you can stop drinking with your friends already :(

I remember having this heartbroken feeling so strong few years back when Cecilia broke up with me. 

Now this feeling haunt me again, I can physically felt my heart aching .. Inside of my head runs all the picture , tears rolling down my cheek , with all the sad song playing.. I stop myself from drinking this time, because I know if I start doing this again when I feel sad.. I know I will never do what's right..it's really really hard to bring myself up again...

I wished you'll be here when I cried.

I was yearning for your warm embrace..

I knew you were out there somewhere ..

it's stressful for you, I'll be more supportive for you. somehow you are my only love.

Maybe you understand me more than I do.

There's so many unresolved issue between us, there bound to a time when we both can really work out together .

But somehow we sail through all this and now it's a mess that I made..

If u ever fall In love with someone again ,

I will feel even more heartbroken, but if being with me now isn't happy or going anywhere.. I would still hold onto you and try everything for you smelly .

Good Night smelly, I hope you went back home from drinking session already .

I love you always, my dearest Anvil.